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lovetragedia
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Name: Elaine
Country: Singapore
Metro: Singapore
Birthday: 4/3/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: Ambivalence & Ambiguity, Baking, Brownies, Chocolate, Colours, Grey's Anatomy, Heffalump, Ice Cream, Literature, Movies, Muuuusic, One Tree Hill, Piglet, Photography, Poetry, Photoshop, Sketches, TheDailyScoop.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/16/2006
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| I'm still up at 4.45am again fthis I'm going to sleep at 5 again or later urgh :(
Today was a good day, spent with good company :)
Still really mad at myself about something, but I guess I can't help it much. Mad at parents too, but nonetheless it's still a better day than usual, especially when it's spent with people that mean a lot to you and feel comfortable with <3
I want to hug my brother but he's probably deep asleep or something I sound like I'm really strange but, need a hug :(
And need to push stupid things out of my mind so I'll stop thinking and worrying and being mad at myself.
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| I love you but I've chosen darkness
OTH 406
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3270 words, in somewhere around 2hours and 45mins for six months. "The truth is hard" but it's good to keep track. Hopefully now that they're somewhere they can be pushed out of my mind, hopefully.
Good that I acknowledged all this and haven't hated myself for what's written.
Oh and please, please extend the holidays.
Evidently I don't want school to start when I'm still here at 4.58am and haven't slept, thinking of things and listening to mixes and trying to organise my thoughts..
I'm glad I haven't been alone / avoiding being alone lately.
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| Derek: I'm not hiding. I'm done. I'm done operating.
Meredith: Oh, okay. So you're just quitting?
Derek: You should understand better than anybody else. You wrote the book on quitting. Running, hiding, you've written a lot of books Meredith.
Meredith: That may be true. But I'm here now.
Derek: Oh, you're here now? You've wanted me out since the day I moved in.
Meredith: That is not true.
Derek: Because you're incapable of anything that resembles commitment. You lied to me, you said you were healthy. That you were healed. There's no fixing you, you're a lemon.
Meredith: Derek Shepherd you are drunk! And you're angry, and I've been there so I get it. But that does not give you the right..
Derek: Just go home Meredith.
Meredith: You don't get to just stand here and tell me to leave.
Derek: This is what you want, I'm giving you an out. Go.
Meredith: I'm not going anywhere.
Derek: I said leave, Meredith, leave!
I don't know what I'm doing or feeling. I don't know what's wrong either.
And think I'll switch back to wp?
Don't want holidays to end :( not when bloodyass quarantine just ended. I miss good weather.
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edit/
Need to learn to love myself.
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